Kristi Noem Accepted a Wad of Dark Money? How Shocking!

Ever since the Supreme Court legalized influence peddling in the Citizens United decision, the fundamental reaction of many politicians when confronted by a big old pile of that sweet campaign dough has been, “Me some, too. Yes?” Even given all that, as the good people at ProPublica report, Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem has sticky fingers for cash that would’ve been the envy of Lester Hayes.

In 2023, while Kristi Noem was governor of South Dakota, she supplemented her income by secretly accepting a cut of the money she raised for [nonprofit American Resolve Policy Fund] that promotes her political career, tax records show. In what experts described as a highly unusual arrangement, the nonprofit routed funds to a personal company of Noem’s that had recently been established in Delaware. The payment totaled $80,000 that year, a significant boost to her roughly $130,000 government salary. Since the nonprofit is a so-called dark money group—one that’s not required to disclose the names of its donors—the original source of the money remains unknown.

Noem then failed to disclose the $80,000 payment to the public. After President Donald Trump selected Noem to be his secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, she had to release a detailed accounting of her assets and sources of income from 2023 on. She did not include the income from the dark money group on her disclosure form, which experts called a likely violation of federal ethics requirements.

Why must they bother her? Don’t they know she’s holding off the terrible invasion of gardeners, fry cooks, and elderly women? Okay, it’s not a conventional invasion because some of them have been living here, legally, for nearly as long as Noem has been alive. But, I mean, haven’t they seen how stunning she looks in Kevlar?

RFK Jr. is the most dangerous Cabinet member. Pete Hegseth is the most unqualified. Linda McMahon is the most grotesque. But, hands down, Noem is the most ridiculous. She’s bustling around in her designer battle-rattle while the law enforcement agencies under her barely distinguishable authority run amuck in the streets of the country. She keeps turning up in embarrassing cable TV ads thanking the president for keeping our country safe and talking tough about how those who come here undocumented will never get to taste our kind of freedom. She gets her purse with $3,000 in it snatched in a D.C. bistro. And now we learn that she’s been on the dirty-money grift for years.

ProPublica discovered details of the payment in the annual tax form of American Resolve Policy Fund, which is part of a network of political groups that promote Noem and her agenda. The nonprofit describes its mission as “fighting to preserve America for the next generation.” There’s little evidence in the public domain that the group has done much. In its first year, its main expenditures were paying Noem and covering the cost of some unspecified travel. It also maintains social media accounts devoted to promoting Noem. It has 100 followers on X.

Plain brown envelopes have such simple charm to them.