Juan Diego Botto, in the labyrinth of new families: "Parenting isn't what it used to be because our relationships aren't what they used to be."

Raúl is a single father. His son's name is Dani, and his girlfriend is Paula. Dani is six years old, lives with his mother, and spends Wednesdays and alternate weekends with Raúl and Paula. Paula adores Dani, but she can't quite find her place in the family. What exactly is the role of a stepmother? One day, Paula falls in love with someone else, a woman, leaves home for good... and wonders what her relationship will be with a boy with whom she has shared five years of their lives.

This is the starting point of Tras el verano , a film by director Yolanda Centeno that has brought to the cinema something that has been part of our daily lives for some time but that we rarely see in fiction: separations with children, stepmothers, stepfathers, stepbrothers, the relationships between them, children who come and go, the silences, the doubts, the pain after the break-up, children trying to survive and adapt to all the new people who enter their lives... A script with few words and many looks and gestures that speak for themselves.

Juan Diego Botto (Buenos Aires, 49) plays Raúl, a man plagued by thousands of doubts who is fighting to secure joint custody of his son, trying to overcome a second breakup, and who doesn't know how to cope with everything he's going through. "I have so many separated friends who have children, who are starting new relationships, who are living with the children of their new partners," the actor reflects in a café in central Madrid. "It's something I see around me constantly, but I'd never stopped to think about how it all comes together, about the depth of the new bonds that are created along the way. I really liked the project because it speaks to a social reality that is emotionally very complex but also very common."

Question: The film shows enormous emotional confusion on everyone's part. Don't we know how to deal with the new family models?

Answer: My character, Raúl, experiences the pain of a relationship that's ending against his wishes. His relationship with his first wife, with whom he has a son, is clearly hostile. He's fighting for joint custody and isn't sure he can get it. Then he has this terrible feeling of always having to wait for the child. He has little time with him, and that makes it harder to share it. He's a deeply damaged person, in a deep crisis, with a lot of fear and pain. But at the same time, he's someone who tries to understand, who's open to asking himself, "What am I doing wrong?" and "Can I do better?"

Q. Has the world become filled with stepmothers and stepfathers who don't quite know where their place is?

R. Paula has never had a clear place in that family. She can't decide anything. She's in a place that's a non-place. Even the child, who loves her very much, sometimes erases her so as not to hurt the mother or father. She's there, but she's not. Often, she's invisible.

Q. When they break up, your character believes it's only natural for her son to break up with her too.

A. As adults, we bring new people into our children's lives, and then, if our relationship ends, we decide they won't see them again, that bond will be severed. We feel resentment, spite, we feel betrayed, and we want our children to feel the same. But relationships don't work that way. If I raise a child for years, change their diapers, take them to school, prepare their meals... that's a bond that won't be broken no matter how many other adults say it has to end. In the film, Dani doesn't understand why this person who has been so present in her life suddenly disappears completely.

Q. Are we adults selfish when we bring our new partners into our children's lives? When we take them out? Are we selfish about everything?

A. I don't know. It can also be seen as a bunch of affections that come together. Raising a child requires a community. Perhaps the more affection there is around a child, the better for everyone. The important thing is to try not to hurt each other along the way or our children.

Q. The child perfectly perceives the bad relationships between all the adults even though they do not speak badly of each other in front of him.

A. Her mother and father don't even say hello when they see each other. That scene seemed incredibly difficult to me. The director has handled the subtle details of everyday situations very well, which are obviously not ideal but do happen. I think she's done an incredible job thanks to her deep understanding of the reality she's talking about. Parenting isn't what it used to be because relationships and families aren't what they used to be. I know so many families with moms, dads, and kids, and others who are in a very different place. Everyone tries to do the best they can, but sometimes along the way, there's pain, jealousy, fear, and possessiveness toward the children...

Q. Is it possible to experience these processes without feeling like a failure?

A. I don't think it's a failure when a relationship ends: it's lasted as long as it has. There may have been wonderful things about it and others that weren't so wonderful, but nowhere is it written that a relationship has to be lifelong. Some last six months, others three years, and others 30. To establish new, healthy bonds, you have to overcome that feeling of failure, because building on that is very difficult. I think my character's journey is precisely trying to turn those thoughts around and say: the relationship is over, but let's try to transform it into a different emotional relationship for both me and my son.

I don't think it's a failure when a relationship ends: it's lasted as long as it has. There may have been wonderful things and others that weren't so wonderful, but nowhere is it written that a relationship has to last a lifetime.

P. That requires a great act of generosity.

A. Of course, it's not easy. But we have to start from the premise that we've gotten here because we've socially decided to, because we've decided to be free to separate and divorce and not spend our whole lives with someone if we don't want to. Of course, it's not easy to accept that your ex-partner's girlfriend or boyfriend is with your child. But the same thing is going to happen to you at some point, and I think you have to try not to be carried away by ego or wounded self-esteem. The film doesn't proselytize anything, but it does invite us to be more generous and to ask ourselves questions, knowing that the answers aren't easy.

Q. What is a family in 2025?

A. It's hard to define. During my childhood, my family consisted of my mother, my two sisters, and me—people from outside the country with a different accent. At that time, there was no network beyond us. Then, relationships expand. I believe family is what sustains you, something born of pure love. When you separate, the ideal is to get along with the person you loved even if it's over, because for those children, you'll both continue to be their family. Always. From there, new families can later form, which can also change over time. And that's okay. It's neither good nor bad; it's the reality we live in, and we have to learn to deal with it. Because we already know the alternative: always being with the same person whether we like it or not, and we've decided we don't like that. Things change because we want them to change.